The following list can help you determine whether you or someone you care about is involved in an abusive relationship. Not all of these characteristics need to be present for a relationship to be abusive, and characteristics by themselves do not necessarily indicate abuse.
A relationship may be abusive if your partner…
- Feels they have the right to dictate your behavior, privileges, or responses and opinions
- Demonstrates ownership of you or extreme possessiveness; says things like “I can’t live without you,” or “You are my whole world.”
- Blames you for their problems or behavior
- Isolates you – doesn’t allow you to see your family or friends
- Needs to constantly know your whereabouts; expects you to spend all of your free time with them
- Humiliates you in public
- Forces you to have sex or perform sexual acts
- Insists on controlling all of the money, both yours and theirs
- Refuses to let you go to work or, at the other extreme, forces you to work
- Has no regard for your physical or mental health
- Criticizes your appearance, weight, clothes, etc.
- Pressures you to live together or get married before you are ready
- Angers easily
- Becomes angry when you have a different opinion than they do or you don’t take their advice
- Shows jealousy toward your children, family, friends or job
- Suggests reasons for you to fear ending the relationship
- Dual personality, i.e., charming in public, aggressive in private
- Displays violent behavior toward other people
- Disregards the law; feels they are above the law
- Doesn’t want you to know about their past
- Blames all past relationship problems on the ex-partner
- Has a record or history of domestic violence
- Is abusive towards animals
If you recognize any of these unhealthy behaviors in your partner or you feel uneasy about your relationship, you can call our 24-Hour Hotline anytime at 262.542.3828 to speak with someone and get connected to our services.
